Mom: How are you feeling?
Me: I’m still a little sick but I’ve lost some weight from not eating.
Mom: It looks like you gained 10 lbs last month. Don’t tell me you lost it!
Me: Well, I want my abs back. All I do now is sit around in an office chair.
Mom: Do you wear belt?
Mom: If you wear belt, you lose weight in belly.
Me: Mom, that’s so not true.
Mom: WHAT? IT TRUE!
Mom: Do you know how Mama exercise? I clench stomach. No have to move!
Me: Mom, I’m not doing that.
Mom: Try! Wear tighter pants too. No sport pants.
Me: Mom, you’re being ridiculous.
Mom: Look at fat people. All wear sweatpants!